A 2007 Pew Research study found:

• The most common form of bullying is someone taking a private email, IM, or text message and forwarding it to someone else or posting the communication publicly.
• 38% of girls online report being bullied, compared with 26% of boys online.
• Nearly 4 in 10 social network users (39%) have been cyberbullied, compared with 22% of online teens who do not use social networks.

Hurting someone with a simple click

Spreading rumors and bullying is not new. But today’s kids are dealing with something more sinister: cyberbullying. Kids are using mobile phones and computers to hurt, humiliate, and harass each other. What makes this type of bullying so disturbing is that it is constant, pervasive, and public.

What is cyberbullying?

Bullying online can occur when kids create a fake Facebook or MySpace page to impersonate a fellow student, repeatedly send hurtful text messages and images, post cruel comments on the Internet, or any use of online tools to harass other kids. Nasty comments, lies, embarrassing photos and videos, and snide polls can be spread widely through instant messaging (IM) or phone texting and by posts on social networking sites. It can happen any time –and anywhere and can involve large groups of kids. The combination of online anonymity and the desire to be thought of as “cool” can cause a kid who normally wouldn’t say anything mean face-to-face to show off for other kids. And because it's happening in cyberspace, it's often undetectable by parents and teachers.

Why it matters

Nothing crushes kids’ self-confidence faster than humiliation. And just imagine a public humiliation sent instantly to everyone they know. Sadly, hurtful information posted on the Internet is extremely difficult to prevent or remove, and millions of people can see it. Most cyberbullying happens when adults aren’t around, so parents and teachers may see only the depression or anxiety that results from being hurt or bullied. This emotional damage can last a lifetime.

Tips for all parents:

• Give kids a code of conduct. Tell them that if they wouldn’t say something to someone’s face, they shouldn’t text it, IM it, or post it.
• Ask your kids if they know someone who has been cyberbullied. Sometimes they will open up about others’ pain before admitting their own.
• Establish consequences for bullying behavior. If kids contribute to degrading and humiliating people, tell them their phone and computer privileges will be taken away.

Tips for parents of kids under age 10:

• Keep online socializing to a minimum. Let kids use sites like Webkinz or Club Penguin where chat is pre-scripted or prescreened.
• Explain the basics of polite online behavior. Tell your kids that things like lying, telling secrets, and being mean still hurt in on the Web.
• Tell kids not to share passwords with their friends.

Tips for parents of kids ages 10 to 13:

• Monitor their use. See what your kids are posting, and check their mobile messages.
• Tell your kids what to do if they’re harassed. They shouldn’t respond or retaliate, they should block bullies immediately, and they should tell you or a trusted adult. They shouldn’t delete the messages because the content may need to be reported to a phone or Internet service provider.
• If your kid is doing the bullying, establish strict consequences and stick to them. That goes for rude or sexual comments about teachers, friends, and relatives.
• Remind kids that all private information can be made public. Posts on friends’ profiles, private IMs, intimate photos, and in-jokes can all be copied and shared. If they don’t want the world to see it, they better not post or send it.
• Tell them not to stir up trouble. Chat sessions can get ugly fast. Make sure your kids are respectful because hurtful retaliation happens all the time.

Tips for parents of teenagers:

• Tell teens to think before they reveal. At this age, kids experiment with all sorts of activities, many of which should not be made public. Remind your teens that anything they post can be misused by someone else.
• Remind them they aren’t too old to ask for your help. Sometimes, teens can handle things on their own, but sometimes, they just need help. Coming to their parents isn’t baby-ish, it’s safe.

© Common Sense Media