Social Networks: Facts of Life

• Sites like Facebook and MySpace have privacy controls.
• Some sites require kids to be older than 13 to have a profile, but younger kids set up accounts anyway.
• Social networks keep kids connected to friends and provide a space for self-expression.
• There are no guarantees of privacy (even with settings) since anything can be cut, pasted, and sent.
• Inappropriate pictures, posts, or messages can damage reputations.
• Kids can "tag" (or identify) their friends, which can violate privacy.

It's all about hanging with friends ― online

It’s 8:30 on a school night — do you know where your child is? Sure, he’s at his computer, but if he’s like most kids, he’s on a social networking site. What’s he doing? It’s a different world, and we’ll help you understand (instead of worry about) where your kids are hanging out.

Social networks are places where kids hang out together online. They range from Club Penguin and Webkinz (for young kids) to Facebook and MySpace. The sites work pretty simply: Kids who sign up get a profile to post pictures of themselves, artwork, and links to songs; write about what they enjoy; and connect with friends. They’ve become extensions of kids’ social lives. Social networks are major communication hubs, giving kids ways to use instant messaging, connect with one another, and write on walls to share public and private comments. Social networks also have games, quizzes, and applications that let people hug someone or drink a beer with friends.

Why privacy controls matter

Unless your child uses privacy controls, everything he says about himself in pictures or words will be available for the world to see — strangers, college admissions officers, even potential employers. Kids are savvy enough to post things but not always mature enough to understand the consequences of doing it.

Even if your kids think they have figured out their privacy controls, there are ways to get into people’s pages. That’s why revealing personal information is worrisome.

Parent tips for young kids

• Stick with age-appropriate sites. For kids 5 through 8, there are sites with strong safety features that help kids play without risking inappropriate content or contact.

Parent tips for middle school kids

• Check your browser histories. Facebook and MySpace won't let kids have sites if they are under 13. But kids simply lie. If you see either site, assume your kids have an account.
• Tell your kids to think before posting. Remind them that everything can be seen by a vast audience (otherwise known as friends of friends of friends). It's a good idea for parents to have access to their middle school kids' pages to be sure that what they're posting is appropriate. Parents can help keep them from doing something they may regret.
• Set their privacy settings. They aren’t foolproof, but they’re important. Show them where the privacy settings are.
• Set rules for what is and isn’t appropriate to communicate, play, and post online. Posts with drug taking, drinking, or sexual posing or activity will come back to haunt them.
• Make kindness count. Lots of sites have anonymous applications like "bathroom wall" or "honesty boxes" for people to tell their friends what they think of them. If your kids wouldn't say it to someone's face, they shouldn't post it.
• Get an account for yourself. See what kids can and can't do.

Parent tips for high school kids

• Talk about the nature of their digital world. Remind them that anyone can see what’s on their pages — even if they think no one will. Potential employers and college admissions people can easily surface these sites. Ask your teens to think about who might see their pages and how they might interpret the posts or photos.
• Let them know that anything they create or communicate can be cut, altered, pasted, and sent around. Once they put something on their pages, it’s out of their control and can be taken out of context and used to hurt them or someone else. This includes talk and photos of sex, drugs, and alcohol. Tell them that online stuff can last forever. If they wouldn't put something on the wall in school, they shouldn’t post it on their pages.
• Remind them to be positive in what they say online. If they wouldn’t want someone saying it them, they shouldn’t say it to someone else.
• Meet someone, if they must, in a public place, with a friend or friends. We would all like to think that kids wouldn’t meet strangers — but sometimes they do. Stress that this is not a safe or smart idea.
• Watch the clock. Social network sites can be real time eaters. Hours can escape — which isn't great for homework.

© Common Sense Media