Rules of the Road for Parents

A few years ago, there was no such thing as Facebook, cyberbullying, iPhones, YouTube, or texting. But we live in a world of rapidly changing media and tech, where our kids are far more plugged in digitally than we are. In fact, according to a 2010 media-use study in the U.S., kids are spending nearly 7.5 hours per day interacting with media.

It can be incredibly tough to keep up with all this technology. But as we know, our kids learn from us — not just from what we say, but more important, from what we do. Even if we’re a bit clueless about our kids’ online and cell phone lives, we can still help them use technology wisely.

The media-use study also found that children whose parents make an effort to curb media use — either through setting time limits or by limiting access itself — spend less time with media. Bottom line? Good, safe online and cell phone behavior begins at home.

Here's what you can do:

• Model good behavior. If we’re on our Blackberry or iPhone at dinner, why will our kids listen when we tell them to turn theirs off?
• Pay attention. We have to know where our kids are going online and what they're doing there.
• Impart our values. Cheating, lying, being cruel — they’re not OK. Right and wrong extends to online and mobile life.
• Establish limits. Phone time, video download time, destinations. There’s really a right time and place for everything.
• Encourage balance. Get kids involved in offline activities, especially where there's no cell service.
• Make kids accountable. If they have a privilege, make sure they earn it.
• Explain what's at stake. Let kids know that what they do today can be abused by someone tomorrow.
• Find ways to say "yes." That means we have to know the sites they visit, the songs they download, etc. — and find ways to use technology that lets us say “yes” more often than “no.”
• Realize it's not rocket science. Learn to text, send a mobile photo, set up a Facebook page, upload a video. Have your kids show you how. It's impossible to guide what you don't understand. And think of the anxiety you can avoid by knowing how things work.
• Lighten up, embrace their world, and enjoy the possibilities together. None of us wants digital divides in our relationships with our kids. It's up to us to join the fun and help them seize the potential.

© Common Sense Media