Where Kids Go Online
Ever wonder what your kids are looking for online? It’s not the name of the 26th president. In fact, because kids use search engines like Google to explore, their online queries may not show up when you check their browser histories. So how can you manage what you can’t see?
What Parents Need to Know
Online connectivity has given our children unprecedented access to information and entertainment. They live in a 24/7connected culture where all they need do is search for something and it arrives — often unfiltered and highly age-inappropriate. Parents must extend parenting to their children’s online lives and know the Rules of the Road. We have to teach our kids to use responsibly the powerful tools at their fingertips. These guidelines will help:
For Children Under 7
Consider using filters or programs that restrict Internet access. There are excellent free programs like Norton Online Family (a Common Sense partner) that help keep you informed about what your kids are doing online.
Make sure that you're using the safest search settings. Block words you don't want kids searching for — like "sex" and "porn" ("boobs" and "boobies" also made the top 100).
Be present when kids are online, and know where they're going — especially on YouTube, which has both great and not-so-great content.
Pick age appropriate sites: Use independent resources — like ours at Common Sense Media — to help find entertaining but age-appropriate destinations. Make sure you select the sites that your kids visit.
Teach your children the basics of safe Internet behavior. The sooner they learn to search safely, the better. They're building lifetime habits early. Follow this simple, smart guidance.
Explain that Internet searching can be risky. It’s totally age-appropriate for an 8-year-old to be curious about the human body or the facts of life. But cyberspace doesn’t distinguish between an 8-year-old's "curious" and a 28-year-old's "curious." Your kids are going to search for sex and porn. The best ways to manage this are to be sure that browsers are set to "safe search" modes and to keep the channels of communication open between you and your kids. You want your kids to feel safe coming to you if they find something upsetting. Even if you're temped to be angry with what they've found, it's better for them to hear your guidance rather than to try to make sense of something upsetting on their own.
Keep the computers in central locations. Your 8-year-old doesn’t need wireless in her bedroom. If she’s an average kid, she’s searching for sex, too.
Talk about legal versus illegal content Children may think that they'll be able to get free downloads of their favorite movies, games, or music from peer-to-peer file sharing networks, but nothing like that is truly free. Many of these downloads are copyright protected so you are downloading illegal content. And these downloads may have spyware and malware that will crash your computers sooner or later.
Teach the basics about privacy and good behavior in online worlds and social networks. Many kids start with Club Penguin but quickly move to other social networks with fewer controls over what can be said and what kind of information can be shared.
Address cyberbullying. It’s a horrible but very real part of online life. Make sure you know how to help your kids protect themselves.
For Preteens (11–12)
Talk about the importance of protecting their online privacy and reputation. This is the age kids really start to go online, so they need to understand what's safe and appropriate to post. Kids don’t realize that their online social lives take place in front of more than their friends, There’s a vast invisible audience online. And whatever they put online can last forever.
Have the pornography talk. How much detail you go into is up to you. But to ignore it is to let kids make sense of it on their own. Explain your values about sex and intimacy and distinguish them from what kids will find on both amateur and professional pornography sites.
Look at the games they're playing. Lots of games are really violent and can be riddled with spyware and malware. Violent games decrease empathy and have other negative effects.
Set rules about music downloads. Nothing illegal. Ever.
Make sure your kids can figure out whether a site is credible or not. Have them ask the basic questions: Who's behind the site? What is the site’s purpose? How can I tell whether the information is accurate?
Remind them that Internet cheating (like lifting a whole paragraph from a website for a research paper) is still cheating.
Learn about Facebook. It’s the center of kids’ online social lives. Make sure your kids set privacy settings and that they really understand that whatever they post can be copied, pasted, and sent to thousands of people in an instant. Help them protect their privacy and their reputation.
Have the pornography talk again. Sexual curiosity is normal for teens. Pornography is something completely different. Each family will have different attitudes about sexuality, but no pornography is age-appropriate for kids. Still, they’re seeing it. It’s up to parents to help kids understand what they’re seeing.
Establish rules about online searching. Each family will have different tolerances. But teens generally need latitude in searching because of schoolwork. They also often search when parents aren’t around because they’ll have more freedom.
Above all, discuss the Rules of the Road. Since the biggest issues that arise are inappropriate content, inappropriate communication, protecting privacy, and unsafe downloads, talk to your teens about your guidelines in each area.
© Common Sense Media